How to Get More Energy in Your Life
I had initially written another blog post for this week, but when I was going to put it up I just felt like there was something else I would like to share with you today. Something that has always been very important to me. The thing that is missing in my life whenever I feel down, unmotivated, bored, the feeling of not having a purpose in life or getting to where I want to be; and it is not related to nutrition.
I have always chosen jobs where I get to connect with people and where I in some way can contribute to someone else’s success or joy in life. For some reason I thrive when I see other people succeed. You could say that I am a natural giver, but with a caveat. I do not like when people take advantage of me and I am not afraid to express how I feel about it. I have not always been able to communicate the message well and probably still struggle at times. I used to jokingly say that it is my South American genes from my father’s side that gave me a somewhat short fuse.
The short fuse I have always had is a mixed bag of integrity, ego, expectations, and probably a bunch of other things that I have yet to figure out. What is most annoying though is that this drains me of energy. Getting upset and angry that other people take advantage of me or does not appreciate me serves no one, least of all me. What energises me though is to see the impact I have on other people’s lives.
The difference between pleasing and giving
Before I continue I want to distinguish between pleasing and giving. Women often think that they give, but in reality many women please everyone around them. It may be hard to tell the difference, but there is a very distinct difference. Have a think about your motive, why are you doing something for someone? Whenever you do something out of fear, you are pleasing. When you do something because you are afraid that someone else will think less of you, will not love you anymore, will not approve of you, or because you want something in return, then you are pleasing. Giving on the other hand is something you do out of love, when you truly care for someone else, when you are not afraid to give someone what they need, rather than what they think or say that they want.
You please when you have made plans with your friends but change plans because your partner wants to meet you at that time, or when you take on so much that you are unable to stick with your plans and end up having to cancel, or even worse you are too scared of cancelling so you just do not show up and end up disappointing people. This is not where you want to live your life.
Giving may at times look like it could be offensive or even rude, especially here in the UK where it is extremely important that you are polite and correct in all situations. At least until the person you spoke to has walked away, then it is ok to use whatever language you want to express your feelings. This is not how you give. If your friend has a job interview coming up and wants your opinion about her choice of clothes, give her the truth. Be tactfully ruthless, because you will give her what she needs, not necessarily what she wants to hear in that exact moment, she might thank you later. Do not be afraid of saying no. When you say yes to something, you want to give it your all, whether it is meeting a friend for a drink (do not check your phone every 5 minutes, be present) or having sex with your partner. Doing things “half-assed” do not serve anyone.
Identify energy drainers
To be able to eliminate what is draining your energy you need to identify the people, situations, and habits that drain your energy but also the ones that give you energy. Once you have it all written down, slowly work your way through the list of things that drain you of energy and eliminate them from your life one by one. This may take several months but as you get further down the list you should notice how much easier it feels when you have the energy to deal with it. You will have more time to spend around people or activities that energise you instead. Just remember to always give it your all, hold nothing back.
Be true to yourself and be fearless!